when i wake up i'm afraid somebody else might take my place
by HauntedSilver
Summary: Stiles knows better than anyone that it's hard to share a body with a demon. Inspired by the song "Afraid" by The Neighbourhood.


**A/N: Because the first time I heard "Afraid" my mind ran right to Stiles. **

**This was so hard to keep in first person, I kept trying to make it second. Aurgh**

* * *

That's my handwriting on that chalkboard, and there aren't very many explanations.

I'm sleep-telling-killers-who-to-kill.

I'm crazy.

I'm dreaming.

I'm possessed.

It could be all of them, I'm too lost to know. _On the fence_. I have that feeling a lot

But I know one thing for sure: I have to tell Scott.

* * *

Possessed.

I'm possessed.

Sleepwalking, insomnia, riddles, writing on the wall.

It's not me.

It's taking over, the me that's not me, the masked villain who unmasks to be me.

"It's okay." "We'll figure it out." "It's not your fault." "We'll save you." "We can fix this." "It's not your fault." "Everything will be okay."

_All my friends always lie to me._

* * *

Let me out.

Letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout

Stopstopstopstopnononononono

Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup

"Don't go to sleep."

Don't go to sleep. Don't go to sleep. It gets out when you sleep. Don't go to sleep. Stop. No. Don't go to sleep. Don't sleep, Stiles. Don't go to sleep. Don't sleep.

* * *

_You're too mean. I don't like you_.

"_Fuck you anyway_." Shaking fingers.

It laughs.

* * *

_You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs. _

Letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout

Stopnonononostopstopstopstopstopnononononono

Letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout

* * *

_When I wake up I'm afraid somebody else might take my place_. When I wake up I'm afraid that I'll be gone and it'll be him instead.

_When I wake up I'm afraid that somebody else will end up being me._

* * *

Dreaming. It's a dream.

Notrealnotrealnotrealnotreal

It'sadreamit'sadreamit'sadreamStilesit'sadreamit'sadream

* * *

Let me in.

Let me out.

_Fight those demons._

"Fight it, Stiles." That's Lydia's voice, but she's not here and I can't remember when she said it. "You're stronger than this. Smarter. Fight it."

"Fight it, Stiles." Scott's voice. Sure brown eyes. _Keep on breathing._

* * *

Crazy.

I'm crazy.

(There is literally nothing you can say to me that will make you sound crazy.)

Crazy. I'm crazy. I'm in a mental hospital and there's no cure and I'm crazy.

_And I can't even see if it's all there anymore so_

I'm crazy.

Crazycrazycrazycrazy

* * *

"_You're too mean _-you're -you're evil. I hate you. Get out. Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout."

Lightning scars fading off your back.

Gone.

"**Get out**!"

* * *

_Fuck you anyway_

* * *

_You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs. _

_It hurts but I won't fight you_. (I can't fight anymore. I can't. I'm so tired.)

You're taking everything from me.

* * *

_You suck anyway_

* * *

This is the only way to protect you.

I'm sorry.

Promise you'll kill me if you have to.

_[You make me wanna die_.]

* * *

_When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place. When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me. _

And that me that's not me will kill people. A lot of people.

Starting with dad and Lydia and Scott.

I know because he told me.

* * *

_Being me can only mean_

_Feeling scared to breathe_

Scared. Scared to breathe. Scared. So scared. Terrified, actually. Terrified.

I always feel this way now. Maybe it's Beacon Hills and kanimas and human sacrifices and nogitsunes and frontal temporal dementia. Maybe it's me and anxiety disorders and a werewolf for a best friend and a mom who's dead.

"You have to take all of that, you know."

"Being Stiles means being scared and having ADHD and panic attacks."

He smiles and he has no face.

He smiles and it's cruel and it has "I won't have to deal with that" written all over it. It's a smile that says "I'm going to kill all your friends and it's all a game and you're going to watch".

* * *

Lydia.

Lydia found me. Lydia. LydiaLydiaLydiaLydia.

It's not me, it's him, but a part of me can feel her there, moving farther away from me. Lydia, come back. If you leave me then I'll be afraid of everything.

Lydia.

* * *

Fight.

_That makes me anxious _(everything makes me anxious).

Death.

Anxietyanxietypanicpanicpanicshakig.

"I'll kill them all."

There's no time.

(There's no key. It's a cage -it's the inside of a locker- and there's no key.)

"There's no time left, Stiles."

Nothing _gives me patience, calms me down. _

Lydia and Scott can end panic attacks, but they're not here.

* * *

Strength.

"Fight it. Fight this, Stiles." Scott and Lydia. The voices blend into one.

_Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up (I wake up, I wake up)_

"Fuck you, anyway."

_Let me be._

* * *

Helphelphelphelpmegetout.

Letmeout.

_When I wake up, I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place._

_When I wake up, I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me. _

He'll be me. He'll be me and he'll kill them.

* * *

"This isn't you."

"It is now."

* * *

Scott. It's Scott and Lydia and they're standing right there and I know the answer.

I don't have to play anymore.

So I wipe the board.


End file.
